FISH-LOVE OR TRUE LOVE?

The great spiritual geniuses of mankind have little respect for our theological conventions since mankind lacks comprehending the spiritual truths contained in divine messages, and which as a rule are contaminated as soon as they land in human hands.

But it cannot be denied, that in every philosophy of religion, moments of intense and brilliant wisdom appear, regardless of the religious sectors from which they come, as they are true pearls that make us have faith that with the individual spiritual development, humankind in communion will reach the moment of comprehending its pilgrimage on earth, whose source, essence, is love; its different forms and its plenitude.

And when it comes to love, marital love is obviously included, this important dimension between humans, which nowadays receives a special colour, with all forms of relationships between different genders and sexual preferences.

Among these pearls of wisdom, there is one, in the words of Rabbi Dr Abraham Joshua Twerski, psychiatrist, specializing in drug abuse, who when asked about what LOVE is, replied:

“Love is a word that in our culture has almost lost its meaning.

Now, I have a very interesting story from rabbi Ofkosky who came across a young man who was enjoying a piece of fish that he was eating.

And he asked, “young man, why you are eating that fish?” And he replied, “because I love fish!”

= Oh! You love the fish that’s why you take it out of the water, kill it and boiled it?

= Don’t tell me you love the fish, you love YOURSELF, and because the fish tastes good to you, therefore, you took it out of the water, kill it and boiled it?

So much of what is love is fish love!

A young couple falls in love; what that’s mean? That’s mean that he saw in this woman someone who he felt could provide him with all his physical and emotional needs and she thought that with this man she can write that was love. But she was looking after her own needs also.

It is not love for each other, as the partnership becomes a vehicle of satisfaction for both needs.

Too much of what is called love is fish-love. An external love is not on what I going to get but what I’m going to give.

We have an ethicist, rabbi Dessler who said, “People make a serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love, and the real answer is: you love those to whom you give.” And his point is, if I give something to you, I invested myself in you, and since self-love is a given, everybody loves themselves, now, that part of me has become in you, but that is part of me in you that I love. So, true love is the love of giving, not of love of receiving!

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In Hebrew, the root verbs are the essence of the meaning of the word. For example, the Hebrew word for LOVE is AHAVA. The root is H - V (hav). This means TO GIVE, and therefore, Jewish teachings understand it simply and purely as - TO GIVE.   

Huberto Rohden, a Brazilian philosopher, theologian, and educator, in one of his most widely, read books, De Alma Para Alma, “From Soul to Soul” in the chapter Goodbye Dear Soul invokes and makes us comprehend that “If, during your pilgrimage here on earth, you find a soul that wishes you well, silently accept the gentle ardour of its favour - but do not ask for anything, do not demand, do not claim anything from your loved one.

Receive with love what you are given with love - and continue to serve with perfect humility and unpretentiousness.

The dearer a soul is to you, the less you explore, the more it serves, without expecting anything in return.

The day and time when one soul imposes a duty, an obligation on another soul, the agony of love begins.

Only in a climate of absolute spontaneity does the love relationship survive. For the harmony that is established under the attraction and the sympathy that is in force between the parties that maintain affinity. It is the sensitivity to the emotional experiences of both, and to be moved by those positive or negative emotions; to empathize with these experiences and be willing to sacrifice for them. Through the mechanisms of the law of affinity, attunement is a law that cannot be abolished, annulled, eliminated, extinguished.

Anyway, what kind of love would you like to receive? What kind of love would you like to give?

Fish-love or true love?